PLease don't leave me
by kalimecat
Summary: Ahsoka Tano is dead, but how does Anakin cope with his second failure.
1. Chapter 1

It had been 4 months since the report that two padawans had gone missing. They were being held hostage, a long with Princess Burma who they had been assigned to protect. It had been an effort made by the Separatist to force the hands of Burma's father, King Wyfod of Desdonia to join the Separatist alliance. Princess Burma was eventually rescued thanks to the brave efforts of two young Jedi Padawans. One of the Padawans, Barriss Offee managed to escape, but barely alive. The other, Ahsoka Tano had paid the ultimate price.

Master Kenobi had attended a hearing at the Senate in which Princess Burma and her father requested more aid from the Republic in fighting off the villainous Separatist. When the hearing was adjourned Master Kenobi chatted briefly and politely with several senators, but as he was walking away, getting ready to head back to the Jedi Temple he heard faint footsteps pitter pattering behind him. "Master Kenobi!" Padme Amidala's silvery voice rang out behind him.

"Senator Amidala," he turned around and smiled. His smile pleasant but somehow very weary

She stepped closer quickly, "Obi-wan I heard." She almost whispered. "I'm… I'm so sorry," She muttered her peaceful blue eyes looked up at him and they were brimming with tears. "This war.. the death… the killing," She muttered.

"Padme,"Obi-wan said quietly getting her attention. "She's at peace, now" Was his simple reply.

Padme stopped in mid sentence composing herself as she had seen the Jedi had. "Yes, yes of course, but I will miss her." Padme mentioned.

"I will as well." He smiled kindly and gave an exasperated sigh. "Her service will be held at the end of the week, rhe Temple is opening it's doors for outsiders to attend." Obi-wan explained as the two began to stroll along casually through the senate building.

"You know I will be there." Senator Amidala said authoritatively.

"Yes, I know." Obi-wan's response was short. She had attended Qui-Gonn's funeral as well. He remember the cremation ceremony. He remembered her small hand slipping in his and giving it a squeeze.

"Obi-wan," she said cautiously and with some hesitation. She didn't want her words to give too much away, but at the same time she knew she had to say something. "How's Anakin taking it?" There was a hint of more than friendly concern in her tone.

"I woulnd't know, Padme," Obi-wan shrugged with regret as they kept up the pace. "I…no one has made contact with Anakin since the rescue. He was on the Ship with Mistress Luminara, but he did not come into the Temple" Obi-wan explained.

_He didn't come home last night either. _Padme thought. "Oh Master Kenobi, I'm…I'm so worried about him." Padme's words were bursting with passion.

Obi-wan considered the situation. He hadn't wanted to have to chase Anakin down. He hadn't wanted to have to search high and low all over Coruscant for him former padawan. He had hoped that Anakin would come back to the Temple with in a night or two, but the hour was late and still he had heard nothing from the young man and now he could indeed say like Senator Amidala that he was worried. Rumors were already circulating around the Temple as to reasons why Skywalker had not returned after the tragic death of his padawan. Luminara had given her account of the incident, but now the Council wanted to hear Anakin's. Also there was the matter of building a white saber for Ahsoka. The death of a learner at the Temple was taken very seriously. It was a shame for a master to out live an apprentice, but in the brutality of war to some degree it was inevitable. If a Padawan died their master was to build a special light saber in memory of the fallen, this was called a white saber. It had a piercing white light and it was to be left as a memorium in the Hall of Memories. Their the saber would always glow. With all things considered Master Obi-wan decided it was time to go find Anakin Skywalker.

Once he began his quest it didn't take long for him to find the place where his friend was. It was a lower level cantina. A place Anakin had snuck off too a few times before in his padawan years as Obi-wan recalled. It was called Orbitz. Rough looking aliens stood out side of the bar. Drunkenly babbling nonsense to innocent women who walked by. They sang to the women who didn't look so innocent. Obi-wan stepped over a pathetic life form passed out from over indulgence in hard liquor. The cantina smelt of smoke, cheap perfume and vomit. And Obi-wan thought how unbefitting it was for a Jedi to be in such a place.

Just as he thought this he heard Anakin holler over the music. "Gimme nother Gimbo!" He leaned heaving over the neon infused bar and raise one of several glasses that were displayed in front of him.

The bartender looked at him with pity. "Maybe you've had enough, kid" he reasoned simply as he cleaned out a glass.

"Maybeyehave, n maybeyehaven." Anakin countered drunkly laughing.

"Anakin." Obi-wan's cool, stoic voice rang out clear as a bell in the place and everyone had to pay attention to the clad dressed Jedi. At first the bartender thought that maybe the man he had been serving was in some trouble with the Jedi and he surely didn't want any parts of that, but then he noticed that the drunk young man with dirty blond hair was a Jedi too.

Anakin attempted to sit up straight but wobbled as he did so, "Obi-wan" He replied trying to equal his master's cool. He drink the remaining contents in one of his shot glasses, it took a lot for that little but to get down.

"Anakin let's go," Obi-wan said it with the command of a Jedi Master.

Anakin merely rolled his eyes at the order. " Go away," Anakin rebuffed his mentor.

"Anakin, I know you're upset, but you shouldn't be here." Obi-wan said trying to sound a little more tender. "Come, let's go back to the Temple and we can talk about it there ok?" Obi-wan suggested as he touched his friend's shoulder and gathered Anakin's Jedi cloak in his arms

Anakin crinkled up his face as he watched his Master do such things. He frowned, then spat, then turned to Obi-wan and declared. "I'm not alil boy anymore Obi-wan you can't tell me what to do," he declared as he pointed an unsteady finger in the Jedi Master's face

Obi-wan shook his head and merely pushed the finger away from his nose and onto the table. "Since you insist on acting like child, that is how I will have to treat you." Obi-wan sated simply as He tried to clamp both his strong hands around Anakin's shoulders and lift him from the stool.

"Acting like a child." Anakin muttered bitterly as he wiggled his shoulder trying to free them from Obi-wan touch.

"Yes acting like a child, pouting and wallowing in your own self pity." Obi-wan began

"My own self pity, hey?" Anakin asked sounding angry. He wiped his hand across his mouth, stood up best he could which wasn't very good at all. His limbs were numb with alcohol and he coulnd't recall the last time he hand been this drunk. He didn't think he had ever been that drunk before. A Jedi shouln't drink he knew. A Jedi was above that. A Jedi was above feeling the pain of losing a loved one, well Anakin wasn't.

Anakin's attempt to stand ended with his crashing into Obi-wan for support.

"Come On Anakin," Obi-wan said with a grunt as he tried to support the young man's weight. Anakin was tall and well built, heavy.

"Don touch me!" Anakin barked freeing himself from his mentors hands and flinging himself over the bar to kkep from hitting the ground. He rolled around and propped himself up on his elbows so that he was facing Obi-wan. "I'll leave when I'm good and ready, hear" He declared. "I coulda saved her, you know," Anakin grumbled as he finally got his footing and stumbled away from the bar over o a table.

Obi-wan followed behind him, "I know you did everything you could, Anakin." Obi-wan expressed.

"Yeah, well!" Anakin said somewhat louder than he had anticipated on speaking. He finally made his way to another seat and slammed himself down in a sitting position. "Look where that got us. She's dead!" He blurted out and looked up angrily at his master. Obi-wan tried to figure out who Anakin was truly angry with.

Master Kenobi reluctantly pulled out a seat from under the table and sat down with old apprentice, "She is at peace Anakin"

"At peace. Hmph… at peace? How do you know she's at peace? Huh?" Anakin demanded ruthlessly of his mentor leaning over the table and almost into Obi-wan's face. "You weren't there." He spat. "You didn't see the way she died." _And Skywalker's mind quickly flashed back to the last battle. Ahsoka was already so weak from being confound to that horrible cell aboard the separatist ship. She could hardly stand, but that heart of a Jedi is strong and she begged her master to let her carry out the objective that she had been sent to do and that was protect the princess. Anakin was reluctant. She was too frail. She needed medical attention immediately, but his padawan was so insistent that he had relented. They raced down the corridor searching for Princess Burma's cell. Anakin was supposed to have been creating a diversion while Mistress Luminara freed the padawans, but she had taken too long and so Anakin went a head and got Ahsoka, but this had left them wide open for attack. AS Mistress Luminara had predicted the droids were on their tails. Several destroyer, assassin and ninja droids firing at them in the confide corridor._

_ "Ahsoka!" Anakin screamed over the rage of blaster shots. His lightsaber hummed vigorously as he repelled the bullets. "Go and get the Princess… get her off the ship and go to Luminara." He ordered between gritted teeth sweat dripping down his brow as he struggled to hold of the onslaught of Droids._

_ "Master, no" Ahsoka protested, she was so winded she could hardly weild her lightsaber. "You are too outnumbered they'll over run you."_

_ "Ahsoka the princess' safety is the most important thing, now please go," He urged as an assassin droid came up on him and Anakin quickly slashed through it and then used the Force to push back several more droids that were attacking without ceasing. He ran into the fray and swung his saber valiantly slashing the tinnies to bits as they got in his path._

_ Padawan Tano watched gaping. She was breathless and exhausted but her master was right the Princess was the most important thing. While Anakin played decoy she managed to stealthily maneuver pass the robots and round a corner. A corner where she knew the cell of the Princess was. She let the princess Out from her cell and tried to help the young woman escape to safety, but all of a sudden the two females were cornered. Anakin heard his padawan scream for help through the Force and knowing such he easily was able to over come the droids and make his way to where she was. He heard her struggling with another._

_ "You don't have to do this Lux!" she railed as he body slammed against the wall. "You don't have to become this person." She said panting as the young man swung a heavy blow down on her with a tazor staff. _

_ "Shut up!" the skinny human shouted as he looked down at Ahsoka. She was slumped against the wall. Staying awake was a fight at this point. She hadn't the strength to battle him any longer. "When we first met you almost had me believing that maybe the Republic wasn't evil and that maybe the Jedi were still good." He snorted._

_ "We are!" Ahsoka cried out. "What happened to your mother is not our fault." She protested as she heard her master's footsteps getting closer._

_ "Maybe it's not, but someone needs to pay." He seethed under his breath and kicked Ahsoka and she yelped. Her lightsaber flew out her hand and Lux picked it up, clumsily he managed to cause it to ignite. "It's time to become one with the Force Jedi."he chuckled and showed her no mercy._

_ "NOOOOO!" Anakin bellowed coming to the scene the moment the blade tore across her stomach. Ahsoka screamed out like an animal in pain once the saber was removed from her midsection. Lux didn't have time to feel bad about his actions, nor did he have time to gloat, Anakin Skywalker finished him one blow. His body was severed. Then he rushed to his padawan's side._

_ Anakin slide across the floor to Ahsoka's shuddering form. She barely noticed him lifting her into his arms and on to his lap. "Snips!" He called loudly._

_ "M-m-master?" She stammered her eyes were half closed._

_ "Hang on Snips," he said pulling her petite body closer to his chest. "Luminara!" he clalled into his comlink. _

_ "Skywalker," he voice seemed somewhat agitated, "I am heading toward the second flight hanger. I think the princess is being kept there." She explined._

_ "The princess has already been freed." Anakin eyes darted to the young Togruta in his arms struggling for life. "I need a medical team at my position now!" he practically yelled._

_ "Medical? Where are you Skywalker are you injured?" Asked Luminara._

"_Not me, Ahsoka." He panted as he felt her tremble once more. _

"_Ahsoka? You went to free her? That was not apart of the plan.." Luminara was beginning to chastise._

_ "Vape that!" Anakin swore. He could hear Luminara gasp with shock. That woman acted as if swearing was practically turning to the darkside, but Anakin didn't have time to worry about Luminara's pet-peeves and offenses. "SHE NEEDS IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION!" he hollered and it causes Ahsoka to rally a little._

_ "The medical team is till aboard the cruiser." Luminara began._

_ "Get them here!" he shouted and then turned off his comlink._

"_Master," his padawan's voice was barely a whisper. "I…I don't think they are gonna get here in time," The child expressed looking down at her injury._

_ "Shh, shh" Anakin cooed. "Don't talk like that," He said placing his hand over her sweat soaked orange brow. "You'll be OK, Snips. I'm right here."_

_ "I'm sorry," Ahsoka said._

_ "For what?" Anakin asked, he was starting to panic, there was no sign of the medical team coming to their position, but he was scared that moving Ahsoka would cause her to go into immediate shock._

_ "I should have been able to protect the princess more…protect Bariss more…stop Lux."She explained._

"_No, no… I shouldn't have put you in this much danger. It was too dangerous for you I'm sorry… But You're strong and brave and you'll survive this… you've survived so much already." Anakin said blinking to fight back the tears that were so close to rolling down his face._

"_A Jjedi…has…to..know their limits," her breath was staggered._

"_You didn't learn that from me," Anakin shook his head trying to smile._

_ "Obi-wan." She stated. "Skyguy," she said sweetly, her little tangerine hand creeping up to hold his. He couldn't take how cold it felt._

"_Just hold on Snips! Hold on!" he said rocking her. "Keep fighting. I'm…I'm gonna try to move you… and we can meet up with the team, ok?" He said and slowly started to shift his weight, but her face showed such agony and pain. She whimpered and shook her head her eyes filling with tears and so Anakin remained still though it hurt him so much to do so. _

_ "Skyguy," she voice was soft and raspy and Knight Skywalker practically had to put his ear on her mouth to hear her._

_ "Don't talk Ahsoka, save you strength." He pleaded._

_ "I think you're the greatest Jedi, that ever lived," Her eyes struggled to open but she wanted to see his face one more time. "And I'm proud to have been trained by you." She smiled._

_ Anakin's face crumbled at her words. "Snips, I love you." He said as he cradled her body and then he kissed her on the forehead. The pressure from his strong arms slightly hurt, but it was the first time and last time she ever heard someone say they loved her. "Snips? Snips! SNIPS!" He cried and knew that she was gone. Only two minutes later the Medical team arrived. _

Anakin shook his mind from such terrible images. He could see her shuddering, gasping for breath barely being able to speak, she coughed and lurched, she cried and wheezed. That was not at all what Anakin considered being at peace to be. And he loathed Obi-wan for quoting that cliché phrase. He Looked up at his master defiance in his glazed over eyes.

Obi-wan breathed. He had been shocked and saddened to hear about Ahsoka's death. She was a beautiful girl. She was energetic, gifted, high spirited, strong, compassionate. She reminded him so much of Anakin. The Order had lost a potentially great Knight. He had lost a friend who was far too young to have had to face the realities of war, but still wondering what could have been and regretting the situation wouldn't make Ahsoka come back to life. "She is free Anakin. She lived the last few months of her life in captivity, she's not bound anymore…she is one with the Force. You should at least be able to rejoice in that." Master Kenobi tried to explain.

"Rejoice? REJOICE!" Anakin boomed. "How can I rejoice when she's gone! She was counting on me.. believeing that I would come and even when I came… even when I tried…failed." Anakin whispered ruefully.

"You can't save everyone Anakin, you have to accept that this happened and move on." Obi-wan tried to explain to his distraught young friend.

"Move on?" Anakin asked as if he was trying to understand a new language. "You would know." He muttered in a less than complimentary way. A twisted smile crept across his lips that were stained slightly blue from the strong drink that he'd been chugging down most of the night. "I remember you at Qui-Gon's funeral," Anakin began putting a finger up as he rocked absently forward and backward. "You just stood there.. like a statue wit no feelings at all. You din even shed a tear fo yo old masta" Anakin confessed slurring his words together miserably.

Obi-wan grew rigid. He and Anakin rarely spoke about Qui Gon and they surely never referred to his funeral. The things that Anakin said cut his master deep. Obi-wan had cared about his master deeply. He held Qui-Gon in his arms as life slowly seeped from his body and he did cry then. He cried as he heard the last words that his master would ever speak to him and those words were for him to "Train the boy." He promised he would and he lived up to that promise the best he could. He didn't cry at the funeral because he thought he needed to be strong for the boy who had now been appointed to his charge. That night when he and Anakin stayed at Queen Amidala's palace before heading back to Coruscant, Obi-wan did cry. He didn't bawl or sob, but he cried for his master, his father and friend, but he didn't cry for him again. "That's not true, Anakin," Obi-wan said with a grave seriousness in his tone.

"No? Who you kiddin? I wuz there? I watched you? I cried more for a man I barely knew than you did for the man who you were apprentice to for…what? How long? Over ten years?" Anakin fumed back at Obi-wan.

"You're drunk and you don't know what you're talking about," Obi-wan was still serious though Anakin had a goofy grin forming on his face Obi-wan did not let up on his pensive stare.

Anakin stood up dizzily and spun around. He leaned over onto the table where him and Obi-wan were sitting and let his body weight hang. "I'm tipsy… not drunk." Anakin corrected at quite a volume.

"Sit down." Obi-wan ordered through his gritted teeth.

Anakin laughed again, but he did manage to take his seat. Rather the seat took him he practically slid out of it once he sat down. He could hardly keep his body straight by that point in the night. "Drunk… tipsy whatever you wanna say about it… I still know what I'm talking about." he chuckled. "Guess it figures that you would feel nothing knowing about Ahsoka." Anakin said irritably. "Though she did admire you so," Anakin scoffed.

Obi-wan scowled at what Anakin said. Of course Ahsoka would be missed. She always had such enthusiasm during the missions. He would miss her youth, energy and innocence as she scampered behind them while they raced into battle. He would miss seeing her train and progress into a Knight who would have made them all proud. He would miss comforting her when she and Anakin got into arguments. He would miss seeing her in his classes when they actually returned to the Jedi Temple for brief respites throughout their times at war. She was a sweet girl, with the heart of a warrior.

" I'm not going debate this with you right now. This is not what I'm here for," Obi-wan stated coolly.

"Why don't you want to talk about it Master?" Asked Anakin demandingly.

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Course not…death is a natural part of life Anakin. They are one with the Force now, Anakin." Anakin muttered in a mocking tone of his mentor. "And if I died too, you'd juz accept it," Anakin shrugged and crinkled his features

"What do you want me to say, Anakin?" Obi-wan asked giving out an exasperated breath.  
"I dunno…something… anything that's not from a mantra that doesn't sound so scripted."

"And when I say those things what will it do? Will it bring your padawan back?"

"I can just picture it now," Anakin said a a hideous fantasy taking hold of his drunken and fatigued mind. "Master Kenobi we've just received very troubling news," Anakin said putting on an accent that was very much like Master Plo Koon and if it wasn't for the inappropriateness of the conversation Obi-wan may have actually laughed. "Skywalker's been shot down."

"Anakin." Obi-wan chimed in. It wasn't funny.

"We are sorry." Anakin said once again imitating Plo Koon. "But you'd probably be glad wouldn't you?" Anakin spat.

"Anakin stop this." Obi-wan ordered, but his voice was very tender and he reached out to touch his young friend.

Anakin quickly snatched his hand away, "Probably say "WOOHOO!"

"Enough Anakin!" Obi-wan responded, his voice was tired and pained that Anakin could even think such things. He tried to remind himself that his former padawan was under the influence of intoxicants and wasn't thinking quite clearly, but then he knew that sometimes Alcohol can make people say how they really feel and the thought that Anakin really considered him so unfeeling was a tremendous and hurtful surprise.

"I'm finally free of that brat!" Anakin mocked and laughed, but Anakin's idiotic laughter was cut short as he felt a hand come and slap the drunken grin clean off his face.

Master Kenobi hadn't hit the young Knight that hard. But because of Anakin's already unsteady balance at the time he fell out of his chair and hit the floor on impact of Obi-wan's backslap. The Jedi Master was appalled at Anakin's behavior and regretted having to use a physical form of chastisement. He slapped Anakin like he was no more than an overgrown child. Jedi rarely believed in using physical forms of correction. It was always a last resort, but it wasn't the first time that Anakin had pushed his master that far. Somethimes it was the only way to get through to him. Obi-wan hoped that it was jolt Anakin bring him back to the realization that the world was still going on. That he wasn't the only one grieving, that he was acting like a fool and that the things that he allowed to spew forth from his lips tainted blue from liquor were merely the fabrications of his alcohol induced state.

The people in the bar gathered round as the saw the handsome young man hit the groun. He hit the ground with a loud thud. He struggled to get back to his feet, But upon doing so he pushed the people in the circle back and drew his lightsaber wildly, like a novice and went charging at Obi-wan/ The Master's eyes grew large. Obi-wan stood and got in a defensive stand and the crowd roared for a fight. Anakin rn toward his master screaming. He swung his saber and Obi-wan defended, but Anakin's moves though wild were still powerful blows. Obi-wan grunted and used the Force to knock Anakin square on his back. Anakin jumped up unphased by the push. He came ramming at Obi-wan, but when he got close enough to strike he took steps back and panted. "Put it away Anakin." Obi-wan ordered . Anakin hesitated his breath slightly hitching, his breathing ragged because he couldn't quite remember why he would lash out so. "Put it away." Obi-wan spoke gently. He was almost asking this time. Anakin powered down his lightsaber. He felt slightly a shamed for behaving like that. Attacking his master but liquor had more an affect that made him more arrogant than bashful and he still was fuming over the slap. How dare Obi-wan treat him like he was a child.

And with that Anakin stood up enraged and flipped the table over. It was only Obi-wan's quick Jedi reflexes that allowed him to move out of the way of the outburst to avoid being crushed by a table. Anakin's breath got heavy and ragged his shoulders heaved up and down like some sort of savage Kenobi looked on his friend with pity and alarm. Anakin was slipping. He was so lost and consumed by his own grief that he couldn't even see what he was becoming. He was becoming rash and dangerous. Even the beings in the bar that were also weighed down heavy with liquor looked alarmed when the saw the table fling to the ground. Some even scuttled to the farthest corner away from the highly volatile young Jedi.

Taking out his frustration physically was just how Anakin operated. Obi-wan had seen many a temper tantrum over the years. He had come back to find many a smashed vase, broken china or room that was torn apart. When Obi-wan said something that Anakin didn't like he would just storm out and slam the door behind himself. And Obi-wan regretted how long he had allowed the bad behavior to continue. He should have nipped it in the bud when he first noticed it. He tried to teach his padawan how to quell his emotions, but some how Anakin's temper would rise up and his emotional attachments would always be present.

"Are you finished?" asked Obi-wan as his gray eyes flickered to glance at the table. He was half way tempted to tell Anakin to pick it up, but before he could speak Anakin muttered something that included a plethora of foul words as he waddled back to the bar.

"Can I get nother.. huh? Huh?" He asked the busy bartender who walked by quickly scooping up his drink.

Anakin would have even noticed the Jedi Master standing by his side had Obi-wan not spoken up and said. "Actually he doesn't need anything else to drink. We were just about to leave." He said trying to wrap Anakin's cloak around his shoulders.

"You're just about to leave!" Anakin shouted cocking his head toward his master and then pointing his finger at the door. "I'm having another round!" he declared. And the crowd of cantina patrons roared their applause of his idea.

"Anakin," Obi-wan said in the sternest of tones. He gripped his hand around Anakin's forearm. "You are making a fool of yourself." He remined him.

Anakin yanked his arm away and turned on his master like a viper standing up so that he was taller than his master and leaning down into the auburn haired Jedi's face. "Well everybody in here is a fool and if we're all fools then nobody's a fool except for the person who is actually considered wise. GOSH Master guess that makes you the fool!" Anakin howled clasping his hands over his cheeks. Then he hiccupped, lost his balance and fell into Obi-wan.

When Finally got his bearings back the room was swaying slightly and Obi-wan's face was filled with annoyance and disgust. Anakin shrigged this off as he flung himself back over the bar and watched as a drink, Gungan gin slid his way. He barley managed to catch it, but when the drink hit his hands without hesistation he tossed his head back and allowed the beverage to slide down the hatch. He guzzled the alcohola so quickly that he got choked. He coughed recklessly, pounding on his chest as he brough the glass back down to slam on the bar counter. His master looked on him his arms folded an a scowl etched on his lips under his beard. "You look so serious master" Anakin announced once h composed himself from coughing. "You should have a drink! It'll help you relax." Anakin sang wiggling the empty glass at Master Kenobi.

"Is that what you call yourself doing? Relaxing?" Obi-wan asked with a raised eyebrow.

Anakin ignored the question, but whistled at the waitress droid. Who turned around dutifully then young Skywalker asked her to get something for his friend. The droid responded in obedience and passed Anakin a shot of something. Anakiin turned around grinning as he passed it to Obi-wan. "Here ya go master," Anakin muttered chuckling to himself and pressing the cool drink into Obi-wan palm. Obi-wan shuck his head and practically pushed Anakin into the stool as he placed the beer on the counter. Anakin looked with wide eyed fear at the gesture. "You don wan it?" He asked his drunken gaze falling on the ginger haired Jedi before him. "Well I can't let it go to waste." He said with a gulp and used the Force to call the drink over to him.

He had the drink in hand and was about to take it in when Obi-wan's hand wrapped around his wrist. Obi-wan's eyes were tired, but sincere when he begged, "Anakin, please stop."

The younger man flickered and he let go off the drink as he felt Obi-wan's grip on his wrist slacken. "Why?" he asked in a low husky tone keeping his eye on the liquor.

"Because it isn't proper that you should behave in such away." Obi-wan said straightening up.

The remark merely made Anakin scoff, "Isn't proper that a 16 year old girl should die in battle after being tortured for 3 months, but it happens."

"Ahsoka died giving her life for the Republic, she gave her life to protect the innocent and fighting for what was right and it is befitting for a Jedi to die in such away." Obi-wan explained.

"Shut-up," Anakin mumbled at first like a low growl.

"You should be proud."

"SHUT UP!" Anakin stood up screaming. " if that's all you have to say to me than just GO! Leave me be!"  
"You still have responsibilities, Anakin. You need to give an account to the council on what happened out there." Obi-wan insisted despite his young friends indignation he remained placid.

"I'm sure Luminara already gave a report by now," he snorted turning back around and looking at that oh so friendly shot glass.

"No Anakin. She didn't. Ahsoka is your padawan and it is your place to report the matter."

"What didfference does it make anyway now?" He asked his fingers dancing around without much control on the countertop.

"It would be nice for you to at least prepare a speech during her funeral," Obi-wan offered.

"You do the speech," Anakin spat his tongue feeling thick and heavy in his mouth. His whole face felt heavy.

"I think Ahsoka would have preferred for you to.."

"Well… Ahsoka has no prefer…preferent… prefers nothing now… she's dead." He stated and right then and there he almost broke down and wept in that seedy scum filled cantina.

"You could at least make a white saber for her to be put into the Hall of Remembrance. It is the least you could do." Obi-wan urged.

"NO," Anakin seethed. His voice a growl, "The least I could have done was save her life, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't keep her safe. I couldn't get to her fast enough."

Master Kenobi walked up behind the distraught young man and he allowed his hand to fall on Anakin's head. "Padawan," Obi-wan said slowly, his voice was laced with tiredness and sympathy.

Anakin spun on him swinging his arm in a wild half circle and used the Force to push his master back and slam him into a table that was a few paces behind them. The people who were sitting at the table screamed and ran out the cantina. Many other customers were afraid to. Anakin twisted to face in his master's direction, the old mna sprawled across the floor the fallen table behind him. "I'M NOT YOUR PADAWAN ANYMORE!" he hollered. So you can't come in here and fetch me and lecture me like a child. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" He snarled as he looked down at Obi-wan.

Obi-wan looked up at Anakin horrified by his display. He knew that he couldn't reason with Anakin anymore now. He dusted himself off as he got off the cold slab of floor. "Fine Anakin." Obi-wan said feeling his sore muscles. "I'm am very disappointed in you."

"That's nothing new," Anakin retorted.

"Ahsoka believed that you were an honorable Jedi, I'm glad she isn't here to see how you've fallen." With those words the Jedi Master left the cantina.

Anakin snorted wiping his nose on the back of his hand and going back to the bar and loudly demanding a tonic. The bartender snapped to it immediately giving the vehement Jedi what he wanted and then he told Anakin he didn't even have to pay. He was so afraid. After Anakin chugged the Tattooine Tonic, a very strong drink, he just passed out. He woke up sometime later he didn't know what time it was he hardly knew where he was and he had a vague memory of the vents that had transpired only a few hours ago."Obi-wan?" Anakin asked slowly. His head hurt and he looked around the bar hoping to find his master. He was tired and he really did just want to return to the temple now. "Master?" He asked as he turned around and was stunned to find the cantina practically empty. One couple was left on the side and the waitress droid was beginning to clean up.

"Your friend headed out hours ago, son" Gimbo the proprietor of the establishment explained.

"What? He left?" Anakin asked gulping down the sickness he was feeling in his stomach and trying to focus on the figure before him.

"you demanded that he do so," The guy explained. He looked a little scared of Anakin. Anakin hung his head the pain in his heart and his head enough to make him want to pass out again. For now Anakin was what he truly feared being. Alone.


	2. Chapter 2

The council was not pleased with the fact that almost three days after the report of Ahsoka Tano's death Anakin Skywalker had not given an account. Almost immediately upon setting foot back in the temple after his less than pleasant encounter with Anakin Obi-wan was summoned to the council chambers as there the rest of the masters deliberated the matter. "Kenobi!" Kid-Amundi greeted his friend. "We were just discussing your former protégé,"

Obi-wan winced at hearing these words. "Oh and what of?" he asked always well explained.

"Master Mundi was saying how he believes it would be best for Skywalker to be pulled from active duty. I concur." Luminara added quickly.

"I think that the decision is a bit hasty. Anakin is one of the strongest generals and his troop is one of the best we have at this time. The Jedi are already spread thin.. we do not need to lessen our presence anymore." Obi-wan explained earnestly.

"Strong in the Force, yes, but his total disregard of the council's request to debrief is not acceptable." Mace Windu explained sternly.

"Made contact with him, have you?" Master Yoda asked. Obi-wan merely nodded knowing that if he opened his mouth some how the council would end up knowing that Anakin was behaving despicably drowning his sorrows in filthy liquor.

"And where is he?" demanded Master Unduli.

"Not here." Mace concluded. "And that is a problem," he looked over at Yoda who nodded with a deepening concern.

"Perhaps he is just grieving," Master Plo Koon suggested gently. His voice which was a always steady and smooth flickered with a hint of sadness as well. _Poor Little Soka_, he thought. Hearing news of her death had been the saddest news he had heard since the start of this war. Many Jedi had been lost and many padawans as well, but somehow he thought she would make it. She was talented and Skywalker though wild in his tactics never seemed to want to put the youngling in danger. He reminded himself several times that what happened to padawan Tano was not her master's fault.

"Grieving?" Luminara crinkled her nose. "I told Skywalker once, that he had to prepare himself to let go of his padawan if the time came and he would not heed me." Luminara expressed to the other Master's in the council chambers. "Our padawans had been trapped, I was preparing to let Bariss go, but Skywalker was insistent that we not give up the fight. I knew then that he clung too much to attachment. And now look where that has lead us?" She pointed out. "He was so hasty that he could not look at the rescue as a whole! He jeopardized the whole mission."

"He only did those things in hopes that he could save Ahsoka. Though it wasn't successful… I am sure Anakin has learned the consequences of his rash actions." Obi-wan tried to assure the council. Obi-wan spoke for his former apprentice

"At great expense this lesson comes, with the death of his padawan." Yoda explained. The members of the council nodded grimly.

"Obi-wan surely you can see how Anakin's behavior is unacceptable. He broke the plan that we had established and sabotaged the mission and now his padawan is gone." Luminara explained with out remorse.

"He has not even answered the Council's request for him to give a report." Master Gallia stated simply.

"He will though. He just needs some time. Please Masters be patient." Obi-wan tried to reason with them.

" He has not done it as of yet," Luminara turned up her nose at the suggestion that the young man might get his act together."I believe I shall very well have to inform the council. It is a shame that Skywalker would shirk off this responsibility," She said shaking her head.

"Have you informed Bariss of the news yet?" asked Master Kenobi addressing Master Luminara. He knew that she often considered Anakin to be too reckless and while he did agree he didn't want to bash the young knight who wasn't even there to defend himself. Also Luminara first responsibility should be to inform her apprentice, rather than the council.

Luminara sighed and her eyes softened. "No," she confessed. "Bariss has just come out of the bacta this afternoon, I did not want the first words I greeted her with to be reports on the death of her closest friend." Luminara explained. "I will tell her tomorrow. I fear she will not take it well." She shuck her head. "I won't be bringing her back into the field for sometime. That will give her plenty a chance to recover, physically and emotionally."

" While Bariss is on respite, I think that Skywalker should also be pulled from active duty." Kid-Amundi spoke up returning to the original topic. "he is obviously compromised emotionally."

"I do not think a forced convalescence is the best way to approach Anakin." Obi-wan explained.

"Perhaps you could strongly suggest it to him Master Kenobi," Offered PLo Koon. Obi-wan smirked at the thought of this. He had strongly suggested Anakin come away from the cantina and return to the temple tonight and that had been a tremendous success obviously. He didn't have influence on Anakin like that. And now Obi-wan knew why it was because Anakin didn't think that his old master had his best interest at heart. Rather he thought Obi-wan had no care for him or anyone for that matter. And he couldn't help the grimace that reflected across his face as he thought about the insulting and hurtful words that he had heard at bar maybe an hour ago.

"I will approach him about the decision." Obi-wan confirmed. "But still I ask that you at least give Anakin another day to come and speak before the council."

"Very well Master Kenobi, if more time you feel he needs then let his time be this… tomorrow I will tell my padawan of Ahsoka's passing…perhaps then Anakin can give the council the details." Luminara said she nodded, then bowed then turned on her heels and went. She gave the statement as if it was an ultimatum.

Soon all the master's dispersed going to their various rooms and suites. Obi-wan walked on to the Meditation center. Plo Koon followed suit. "Has Skywalker talked to you at all about the details of Ahsoka's death." The matter was equally as personal for Master Plo.

"No," Obi-wan answered briefly. "Anakin is a complicated young man. Sometimes he is more eager to express his feelings than to deal with the facts of a situation," Master Kenobi stated as he exhaled.

"Hmm," Plo Koon nodded. "You seem tired Obi-wan, perhaps you should get some rest." PLo Koon patted his old friend on the shoulder with his talon like fingers.

"Indeed," Obi-wan yawned. "It has been a long night."

"It has been a long week." Plo Koon corrected as his fingers slid from the other Jedi's shoulders and he strolled down the hall.

Obi-wan soon arrived at the Meditation Center. It wasn't vacant. He took a seat on a mat under a window, a window that allowed the electric lights of Coruscants night skyline to flicker into the quiet and serene atmosphere of the Temple. It seemed appropriate for his own mood was tainted and spotted like the walls and temple floors were tainted and spotted with the sparkling lights from the outside world. His emotion were tainted mostly with sorrow. Sorrow for a child, who had died to soon, sorrow at Anakin's reaction and how others would judge him for it and pain for the fact that Anakin saw him as so cold.

Obi-wan tried to console himself with thoughts that Anakin was grieving, angry and drunk. He tried to think that maybe the words uttered by his former apprentice weren't really the young man's true feelings, but then he thought better. He knew that alcohol was not known to suppress a person's true feelings, but rather to allow them to surface with out filter. And it broke his heart to think that Anakin thought so little of him after all these years. A Jedi was compassionate, but Anakin had called him cold. A Jedi was sympathetic, but Anakin had felt as though he did not care about his grief or him. That couldn't have been farther from the truth, if he had not cared, he would not have come and he would not have stayed as long as he did. For Anakin to insinuate that Ahsoka's death was nothing to him was an insult that had merely been thrown out in the air to make him angry he knew and perhaps to some affect Anakin had succeeded with that. To say that Obi-wan's attitude at Qui-Gon's funeral was that of a stone, was simply untrue. He had stayed strong to be a support system for Anakin, a little boy who was about to be thrust into a completely different world. How would Anakin have adjusted to life at the temple if his master was an unstable and sullen young knight? The staunch reactions that Obi-wan had were for Anakin's own good. He knew that. AT least he had assumed Anakin knew that, but he had assumed wrong. His former apprentice had said many things during their time together that had been less than flattering, but for Anakin to suggest that Obi wan would react with laughter to hearing news of his death was a lightsaber wound in the back. /Let it go Obi-wan/ he admonished himself mentally.

Obi-wan exhaled allowing his emotions to be expelled with that breath. He could not control Anakin's feelings only his own. With that he quieted himself and intended to head for bed. There was no more to be done tonight and the hours he had spent with his former padawan had been exhausting. He made his way to his room, the comfort of it was even more appealing tonight than most. He used the Force to turn on the lights and slowly began to undress as he paced to his bed. He got in bed quickly and sleep came quickly. It was much desired. It was a black sleep, but no less a peaceful slumber. He ws happy and content in his bed, but he kept sensing this nagging signature in the Force. At first he tried to ignore it. Thinking that maybe it was Just the onset of a dream, but the feeling kept coming back and it was coming closer. The presence in the Force was familiar. The emotions were random and blaring through the Force. Finally, Obi-wan was riven frm his bed and begrudgingly he went to go investigate the matter. He tuck his robe around him as he left his bedroom. He halfway expected every Jedi in the Temple to be up acting the same as he. The disturbance seemed quite well manifested after all. He was somewhat surprised to find th corridor still in the nght. Only a few lamps were lit and all was quiet. As it should be. This was the hour when all decent Jedi were to bed. Bu then he felt it again. That feeling of confusion, fear, guilt and sickness echoing in his mind. All these emotions that were being projected into the atmosphere were raw and somewhat child like.

Obi-wan considered for a moment that maybe he would fine a very small youngling wandering around the temple, lost and scared in the night, but that wasn't exactly what he came upon. He turned hishead o the left and there he found a young man that he knew all too well. "Anakin?" He questioned groggily as he walked over to the figure on the ground.

There Anakin was on his hands and knees gagging and shaking as he vomited. "Anakin." Obi-wan said again, this time the Jedi Master's voice was much closer. Anakin hurled once more, before shuddering and stopping to look up into his mentor's face. His eyes serene as ever, but concerned as well. Anakin's eyes on the other and were bloodshot red, his face was flushed and was wet with tears that had just recently fallen.

"Master…I" he said in a low voice as he looked up at him weakly, but before he could complete his thoughts, his stomach turned nd he vomited again, causing his limbs to shake violently. His amrs felt so feeble that e felt like they would give out from undr him right then, causing him to fall in his own regurgitations. That would have been awful, not to mention terribly embarrassing, though Anakin had a feeling that he had already embarrassed himself so much tonight that such an act could not add much more to his humiliation. Still e swallowed and fought hard to keep himself off the ground.

"Oh Anakin," his old master said tenderly as he knelt down beside him and put his hand on his bent back and rubbed it in a circular motion that was perfectly soothing and Anakin's tense and trembling muscles finally managed to relax. "Anakin you're soaking wet?" Obi-wan implied that he wanted to know why.

"I tripped and fell in a storm gutter," Anakin managed to state as he kept his eyes on the unpleasant sight beneath him.

"Fell is a storm gutter?" Obi-wan repeated with doubt in his tone. Now storms on Coruscant were rare but when they occurred they were powerful. The plante had set up a series of gutters to gather the access rain. Now these basins were relatively big, but not large enough for a a 6'2 young man to fall in. "How did you fall in a storm gutter?" Obi-wan started to fuss. It hadn't rained in almost a month surely the water should have dissipated. Anakin rolled his eyes as he loked up at his master, his head hurt so bad and honestly he didn't remember, but he didn't want argue or hear a lecture right now. OBI-wan looked at the younger knight and his facial expressions softened. "Well I guess it really doesn't matter how… the important thing is that your back. Are you just getting back to the temple?"

Anakin could only nod his reply this time fearing that if he opened his mouth everything but words would fly out. "Alright Anakin let's get you inside shall we." Obi-wan said his tone was smiling as he wrapped one of Anakin's arms around his shoulders and then wrapped hs other arm around the taller knight's waist. "Nice and slow…Ok" he said as he hoisted Anakin to his feet and they made their way back to Obi-wan's apartment. Obi-wan's apartment was only a few feet from them, but the little walk seemed quite long to Anakin. He didn't remember seeing them approach the door or stepping inside nor did he remember sitting down on the couch, but within seconds of being sat down he shot back up making a desperate attempt to get to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Anakin managed to lift his head from out of the toilet. He felt dizzy, and his head hurt something fierce. He staggered as he drgged his wet, form to Obi-wan's couch. H flopped down on it like a rag doll. His head ached, his throat was soar from puking, his stomach still rolled about uncomfortably, he felt cold and exhausted. "Anakin, take off those wet things… you'll get sick," Obi-wan instructed him from the kitchen Anakin rolled his eyes and yanked his dripping tunic from his body. For a moment he wondered if he was with Obi-wan or with his mother. The smile that graced his lips as he thought about comparing the two. The smile soon faded. His mother had always taken care of him. The one time she needed him, he couldn't take care of her. He had failed her just like he had failed Ahsoka.

Anakin Skywalker had just fallen asleep for maybe less than a minute when he felt a solid hand on his shoulder trying to pry him awake. At first Aakin's face was snarling, but then when he noticed Obi-wan's placid expression he corrected his own. "Drank this." Obi-wan instructed him curtly.

Anakin looked at the mug and his eyes grew wide. "I don't want anything else to drink," he grumbled pushing the cup away as he attempted to roll over.

He was stopped mid-roll by his master's hand o his shoulder. "I'm afraid you've forfitted that privilege for tonight," Obi-wan almost chuckled. Anakin gazed up at the older Jedi blankly, he still wasn't quite sober and his head hurt to bad for him to appreciate Obi-wan's sarcasm. "It's just some tea, Anakin," He said placing the warm beverage in the younger man's hands. "It'll help clean your system," Master Kenobi went on.

"I think my system is doing fine cleaning itself," Anakin protested as he looked for somewhere to place the cup. It was futile. The coffee table was in back of Obi-wan and he wondered if the man stood there deliberatey.

"Just drink a little bit Ok," Obi-wan offered a weak smile as he patted Anakin's shoulder before bending down to scoop up all of Anakin's wet things. The patient sipped the brew. It's heat was a comfort to his throat and Obi-wan did make tea the way he liked it. When Obi-wan stood back up Anakn passed him the cup and went to lay back down, resting his head on a pillow that he hadn't even noticed Obi-wan snuck under him. Somehow his master's hand made it's way to Anakin's forehead and Anakin lend in grateful for the touch that sent so much comfort. "Master…I…" He started again, only to be quieted.

"You have a fever, Anakin" Obi-wan observed once he removed his hand from his former student's brow and he brushed some of the wet hairs out of Anakin's eyes. When he looked in Anakin's eyes they were still red, puffy and in desperate need of some sleep.

"Do I?" Anakin asked groggily. He soon felt Obi-wan placing a cool rag across his head. It felt very cool, too cool and it made him shiver.

"Mmm hmm," Obi-wan nodded. "just try to relax and get some rest." He instructed tapping his bare shoulder. As he made his way to clean up outside of the door.

" But I… ffeel cccold…Masttterr," Anakin said in between is chattering teeth. Obi-wan put his cloak over top of Him. Then left quickly to clean up Anakin's other mess. Anakin snuggled into the older Jedi's cloak. It was warm and comfortable. For a moment he felt like a youngling again. He loved to put on Obi-wan's cloak. He'd walk around in it and wrap up in it all the time. Obi-wan chided him saying that his cloak was not a blanket and that Anakin had plenty of cloaks that actually fit him, but that didn't stop him from sneaking into Obi-wan's closet and grabbing a robe. Sometimes when Obi-wan was a away on a mission that had been deemed to dangerous for a nine or 10 year old to partake in he would go into Obi-wan room get his robe and curl up with it when he went to sleep and somehow it made his master seem less far away. The memory was pleasant enough and Anakin smiled. It was a task, but he managed to open his eyes and glance around the room. Obi-wan had a number of paintings, vases and other assorted decorations. That he had collected from his travels on different missions. Things that had been given as gifts to him by dignitaries from far off worlds; now these were things that Anakin had seen a million times before, but tonight in his fever induced state he took a special interest in the holophotos that decorated his master's apartment.

There were holos of Obi-wan as a youngling with Bant, Garen and a few other friends, he had one holo of Obi wan and Qui Gon. Obi wan looked as though he may have been 14 or so at the time and was very pleased and honored to Be at Qui Gon'd side during his padawan induction was a holo of Obi-wan and Anakin. The holo was from the victory celebration after the battle of Naboo, right after they had first become a master and padawan team. There were a few other pictures of Anakin and his master. One was of the two of them at an amusement park on Rhodia. Anakin had wanted to go badly. He liked water worlds. They were so different from the harshness of Tattooine. Obi-wan had agreed to take him for one of their meidative retreats. They did little meditating as as Anakin was desparate to ride every ride. There was picture of Anakin at about 15. He was covered with mud. He had been made to fix a ship after he crashed it. While Obi-wan took a seat and reviewed of Anakin's favorite pictures was a picture of him and his master at DEx's Diner. They went for Anakin's birthday. The Holo that followed was a holo of Anakin Obi-wan and Ahsoka at Dex's dinner. Dex smiled as he posed in the picture thinking of the generations of edi he saw go through his humble eatery. There was a holo of Ansoka and Anakin having an aggressive sparring match that eneded with laughter and respectful bows. A little separate from the other holos that lined the Jedi's complex was the holo taken on the day of Anakin's Knighthood Ceremony. His padawan braid had been cut only a few moments before the holo was snapped and Anakin's hand couldn't help but wander to feel the spot that now ust held a tuff of uneven hair. Anakin's eyes drifted over and he naturally ust a expected to see a holo of Ahsoka as a young Knight. She's look beautiful in one of the long white dresses that female Jedi usually wore on such a occasions. Her headtails would be long and the ornament that she wore on her head would no longer be present. He and Obi-wan would stand on either side of her and it would have been a great day. At that moment the guilt that Anakin felt hit him like a ton of durasteel bricks, knowing that such a holo of Ahsoka would never exist was a huge burden to bear. If only he could have gotten to that LUx boy first. Then there wouldn't be that missing link on the holo charts of Obi-wan's mantle. And with that realization firmly planted in his mind He felt his body slouch further into the couch cushion and the tears stream down his face.

The door slid open and Obi-wan slowly walked back in with bucket and pail in hand. He didn't say anything to Anakin though his former apprentice was sure that the older man could sense that he was still awake. Often times when Obi-wan was very upset with Anakin he ust wouldn't talk. Maybe that was why he was such a good negotiator, he knew how to hold his tongue at the right times, but Anakin couldn't say the same for himself, he wanted to talk. "Obi-wan?" He voice came out much more quietly than he had anticipated it would. The more he tried to keep himself a wake the more he felt the heaviness of sleep weighing down on him

"Anakin," Obi-wan turned and cast a glance at his former padawn sprawled out on the couch. "I thought you'd be a sleep. You really should rest." He admonished him. His voice was even tone, but tired.

"Master I'm sorry," He muttered quickly sitting up more and allowing the other Jedi's robes to slide down off his chest.

"It's Ok, Anakin. It's very late, we don't have to talk about this right now, alright. Let's wait to talk about it at an hour that is decent. Like when the sun is up." Obi-wan said turning back and offering a half smile

"Please… I'm sorry…I'm so sorry for how I behaved… I don't know why I acted like that, but I didn't mean it… I didn't mean all the things I said back there." Anakin pleaded as he sat up straight and the cool cloth feel from his forehead and into his hands.

"You did mean those things Anakin," Obi-wqan said with a sigh. He hadn't wanted to go into this right now.

"No, No I didn't. I didn't…I really didn't," Anakin mumbled desperate to convey the truth. He reached out his hand and grabbed for Obi-wan. He caught hold of his clothes and tugged on them like a little by as he begged his to sit down.

Graciously Enough Obi-wan consented and sat. "Hush Anakin, it's Ok… I know you only meant 87% of the things you said," He attempted humor to quiet the distraught young man before him as he gently pushed Anakin's shoulder's back so that he was laying down once more.

But Anakin's eyes got wide and he fought against the urge to let the couch engult him with comfort and he sat up straight. "No. no, no Master I did't mean it… I didn't mean it. I know that you cared about Qui-Gon and Ahsoka,"

"I care about you too, Anakin" Obi-wan stated as placed his hand on the back of his one time apprentice.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," he sobbed over and over while clutching onto Obi-wan's shirt, his head bowing lower and lower with every phrase he uttered until he almost was leaning his head on his friend's chest. "I…I was just… I… I feel so bad. I failed Ahsoka, I let her down… she believed in me. It's my fault It's all my fault.. I miss her so much." He confessed bitterly as the tears rolled down his face.

"Anakin," Obi-wan began gently as he ran his hand across the young man's still feverish forehead. "What happened to Ahsoka was not your fault. You have to accept that it happened so you can move on. You didn't fail her. Ahsoka believed that you would come for her and you came Anakin, when everyone gave up on their survival you pressed forward and came for her. She didn't have to die a prisoner of war. You liberated her and gave her a fighting chance. You understand?" Anakin nodded. He nodded because even though Obi-wan's words didn't absolve his guilt they were a bandaid for his gaping wound.

"Your not angry with me?" he asked in shock.

"I'm concerned about your reaction. You shouldn't react this way," Obi-wan explained as tenderly as he could.

"I know, but do you forgive me?" Anakin looked up at his mentor then looked back at the floor.

Obi-wan nodded slowly as he watched his young friend tentatively look up at him. He brushed Anakin's blonde strands from his face before getting up to walk inot the other room.

"Obi-wan, can you promise me something?"Anakin asked his tone was serious.

"What would that be?" Obi-wan inquired he didn't turn around though tho look at his former padawan.

"That..That..you won't leave?" Anakin asked timidly and timid was something that rarely cam from Anakin Skywalker.

Obi-wan turned around his auburn eye brow arched with query. "I'm only going into the other room, Anakin."

"No, no," Anakin uttered his voice a tired whisper and he slightly chuckled as he leaned his head back once more against the cushions on the couch. "I'm…don't die."

"Anakin, you know good and well that I could never promise you such a thing. Everyone dies someday Anakin." The older jedi attempted to explain. He saw Anakin's features looking cross and bitter as he went on further. "I can promise you this though, even when I'm long gone…I'll still be with you."

"I guess I'll have to take your word for that," Anakin said and half smile.

"I guess so." Obi-wan repeated as he went into the bathroom and washed out the bucket. He cleared his throat before speaking firther. Since Anakin seemed somewhat less emotional it might be a good time to broach the subject, "Anyway, Anakin, with all this new stress the council thinks that maybe you could use a little vacation," He breathed. "Now don't get upset about it Anakin. It's not meant as an insult to you. It could actually be a good thing. You could stay around temple, meditate, work on repairing some of the battered ships, you could tour Coruscant go to a game or show. You could even go to Aldeeraan and view a podrace. Maybe you could even go to Naboo. You like it there, it's peaceful.. you could catch up with your friends..Senator Amidala, the Chancellor." Obi-wan paused half expecting Anakin to yell out how he was so insulted or how he didn't need to be on a meditative retreat. He was quite surprised to be greeted by silence. "Anakin?" he called over the running water. He shut the faucet off. "Well what do you think?" He asked. Still no response. He stepped out and back into the living room there he found Anakin calling the space hogs, fast asleep. Obi-wan smiled and yawned himself as he used the Force to turn out the lights in the room It was way too late for decent beings to still be up. "Goodnight, Anakin."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The day of Ahsoka's funeral had finally come. It came like a dark cloud rolling onto the shore. After Anakin recuperated from his hangover, he promptly went to discuss the matter with the Jedi council, the illustrious members did not show much grace to Knight Skywalker. His angry outburst at Master Luminara hadn't helped soften the blow that the council gave. It was apparent to them that the young knight definitely needed to be pulled from active duty for a season. It took all the will power within him to keep from chewing everyone of them out, but instead he stood there and took the berating and then stormed out of the Council chambers.

The next two nights he stayed with his wife, Padme. The day of the wedding he dressed quickly in the apartment he shared with his wife, he wouldn't hear the end of it if he was late for his Palawan's funeral. "You want me to make you something?" Padme asked quietly as she came up behind him as he dressed. Her hands hesitated for a minute before reaching out to touch her husband's broad shoulders. They were tense and she felt them relax ever so slightly when she touched him. He had told her many times before how her presence was soothing to him.

"No." he replied coldly, "I'm not hungry."

"I just think you should eat something. It's going to be a long day." She explained. She then wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"They'll have food at the Temple." He explained without really looking at her or giving much of a reaction to her comfort.

"Ok. Well I guess I'll see you at the funeral then." She replied as she backed up and allowed him to add the finishing touches to the proper Jedi attire.

"Yup," he said putting his cloak over him.

Senator Amidala came up and wrapped her arms around her husband's neck; she kissed him lightly on the lips. He offered a weak smile back to her gesture. Her eyes looked so concerned and he stroked her cheek with his flesh hand then kissed her forehead pulling her in tighter for an embrace. "I need to go; there are a few preparations I'll need to make." He explained as he released her from his strong arms.

"O.k." Will you be home tonight?"

"I don't know." He told her honestly. He gave he one more kissed than strode out of the room and got into his speeder.

Padme sighed watching her husband. He had been so somber and quiet. She hoped that after the funeral would bring closure to this painful situation and then maybe she'd see him truly smile his gorgeous smile again. Soon her thoughts were broken as she heard 3PO stagger into the room. "Good morning 3PO,"

"Good morning, my lady," the droid said his voice jovial, "Master Anakin seems to be doing much better today," he expressed.

"Let's hope," she shrugged and proceeded to dress.

Once At the Jedi temple Anakin went straight to the forgery chambers. Anakin walked over to the melding iron platform where he had placed Asoka's White Saber. It took almost 24 hours for the plasma to cool for the Light saber to become safe enough to use. He took it out of the melding iron, its white glow was almost blinding and Anakin quickly shielded his eyes from its intense rays as he lifted it out of the iron.

"Now that is a Magnificent saber young Skywalker," The steady voice of Master Plo Koon came in clear as a bell as the Jedi Master descended the steps to the forgery.

"Master Plo," Anakin bowed respectfully, though he had been slightly startled by the entry of the master. "Thank you," he nodded politely.

"May I," Plo Koon asked as he extended his strange fingers toward the human. Anakin tossed him the saber and Plo Koon weighed it in his hands and played with it a bit. "Yes a magnificent instrument indeed,"

"Ahsoka deserves it." Anakin said quietly.

"Yes, she does." Plo Koon said and he too hung his head. "Are you ready young Skywalker?" Plo Koon asked.

"Whether I am or not master Plo, this will take place." Anakin sighed. Nothing would prepare him to see Ahsoka's body on the funeral pyre.

"Then it is time." Jedi Master Plo Koon explained. His arm slowly coming up around Anakin as he ushered him out the forgery and up the stairs.

The crowd that held some of the Republics most respected citizens slowly trickled into the temple, most came cautiously or many it was the first time they had ever been in the magnificent building. They marveled at its grandeur, but remained silent. The Temple was quiet. All the classes and meetings that normally were apart of the daily activity of the Jedi had been cancelled for the morning out of respect. So many had gathered in the hall of remembrance to honor the fallen padawan it was a good gathering. The dignitaries from Desdonia were in attendance, it was only appropriate, Duchess Satine sent members of her court a well, Senator Chuchi came, Bail, Padme and Jar Jar Binks too, and several others. Many Jedi were gathered in the hall of remembrance as well. All waiting for the service to begin.

A soft humming in an angelic tone began as an already burning pyre was carried in among the midst of the observers. The pallbearers were clones, members of the 501st. They came dressed in their armor as the bore the weight of their young commander's body on their shoulders. Their one last act toward the young woman who had fought by their side with venom and vigor from the moment she joined them. Behind them entered hooded figures. Cloaked in dark robes they walked somberly behind the flaming pyre. Anakin was the first after his troops to enter. Next Obi-wan, Plo Koon, Luminara followed by her padawan Barriss Offee. After Bariss came Master Windu his proud walk was unmistakable even when his face was not visible beside him the diminutive Master Yoda hobbled forth. Behind Yoda entered the children, younglings. The younglings entered first draped in small black tunics and bearing tiny little lightsabers that they held erect and lit toward the center of their chest. Soon a few older padawans entered they also held up sabers in the same fashion. The younglings and padawans alike were the ones who had been doing the melodious humming. The sound was like a lullaby.

Once the procession had ended and everyone had gathered around the funeral pyre the humming grew stronger and then it changed to singing. Now it was not just children, but every Jedi present lent a voice in singing the old Jedi song. The song was beautiful, but the words were not known to those outside of the Jedi order, nor were the lyrics understood. They were being sung in a strange ancient tongue. A tongue long extinct in its use throughout the Republic. Tough it had once been a language of nobility, culture and civilization a language that united the fragmented systems in the beginning, now it was dead and only the Jedi held its secrets.

"Embo Wembo Ahn Un Beago atabi boreaku tata eboyah doh wembo spah," the Jedi sang over and over until finally the others in their midst knew the words and joined a long.

Anakin stared at the flickering flames glowing brightly around his padawan's small body. He cringed and gasped and was almost unable to sing as he looked at the scene. It horrified him and he hated it, but e had to remain calm had to pretend to be unmoved by the demise of Ahsoka. He had to accept her untimely death; just as the words of the song said he thought mockingly. Embo Wembo Ahn Un Beago atabi boreaku tata eboyah doh wembo spah," he kept chanting all the more making the words taste bitter and thick as the slid out his mouth. Roughly translated it meant: When the Force called you, you had no choice but to go now in the Force rest." The lyrics were awful. He despised them because they forced people to accept death to think of death as something that was not optional. Something that one had no control over. They made him reflect on his own inability to save those her loved if the time was needed. Those words o matter how sweetly sung brought a deep rooted fear to the surface. A fear of powerlessness and a fear of failure. He had failed Ahsoka, as he had failed his mother. The lyrics of the song were like the taunting of younglings, reminding him that if he had the moment to live over and over that he would never have reached her in time and that he would have failed again and again. He clenched his fist by his side and bit his lip fighting to hold in a scream. It wasn't until he felt Obi-wan's hand come to rest on his shoulder that he had realized that he was no longer singing. His sucked in breath finishing the last round.

When the chorus was done Mace Windu stepped forward toward the podium that loomed over Padawan Tano's funeral pyre. "We take this time to honor Padawan Ahsoka Tano, apprentice to Anakin Skywalker, student to Obi-wan Kenobi, Padawan to Qui-Gon Jinn. Young Tano came from a great line of Jedi and from that she was able to distinguish herself among them. Trained in the very heart of war young a Ahsoka was forced to put the ideals and skills of the Jedi to the test on a daily basis because of her strength many lives have been saved." He said and took his place standing once again by the burning pyre.

Timidly, the Princess of Desdonia, Princess Burma approached the stand. She was a lovely specimen of her species. She came to the podium her eyes misted with tears. She cleared her throat and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief, "No child in Desdonia does not grow up hearing stories of brave Jedi Knights, who are compassionate and filled with courage. I had never met one until Ahsoka and Bariss were assigned to protect me. Ahsoka fought valiantly on my behalf, offering her own self for torture rather than me. When despair crept into my heart her words were always those of faith and hope. Even when she was weakened she fought tirelessly and never rested in trying to escape. She got me out of there and she got me through it. In that time I came to call her a friend." The princess paused as she looked down giving one last glance to Padawan Tano. Her voice flickered and she shuttered as she choked out "Goodbye my friend," and quickly descended from the podium.

A few others spoke there somber stories and thanks to Ahsoka for her valor on their behalf pricked her master's heart and he desperately wished for the event to end. How long would the make him stand there and face his failure. Ahsoka had so much potential. She was so gifted, she could have been a Jedi of legend had he been able to rescue her. He was unable to watch the burning ceremony in the moments of silence they had as soon the pyre was consumed in a heated glow. His eyes darted everywhere finally falling upon the peaceful eyes of his beloved Padme she stood across from him tears streaking down her tender face. Their eyes met and she whispered to him "I'm sorry. I love you."

Obi-wan went to the Podium and gave the final speech. Anakin couldn't do it. He wasn't very good at speeches anyway. Speeches had to be crafted to be saying what was needed to be said and not was necessarily the truth of ones feelings and in times like this that was all he could think about. "War is an uncertain thing," The respected Jedi Master began. "It brings about questions that have no answers and actions that have no justifications. Governments are not trusted by citizen, nor citizens by governments. Money and jobs become scarce and corruption abounds. There are many things that war makes uncertain, but one thing war guarantees is death. As Jedi it is our duty to protect the people who we serve and to save as many lives as we can. Sometimes that may require that a life is taken and sometimes that may require a life be sacrificed. Ahsoka Tano honored such truths and paid the ultimate price. She died in a heated battle after months of pain. She gave her life in belief of the Republic. Let us hope that this war may end so that lives may be spared. When new stories are told in Desdonia of brave Jedi, we know that your name will be among them, Padawan Ahsoka Tano."

Obi-wan came down from the stand his eyes casting a quick look at Anakin. /it's time Anakin/ he sent through the Force. Anakin nodded. He had to present and dedicate the lightsaber. Obi-wan wouldn't let him not. 'It was only proper' Obi-wan told him 'and it would be what Ahsoka would want'. It was for her sake that he would do so. Not that he wanted to. When he finally presented the lightsaber it would be the final gesture he would do for his padawan and what good was that gesture when she was dead and he had failed to save her? As he made his way to the front and stood before the blazing pyre he saw that nothing was left on the slab, but ash; Ahsoka was gone.

"Ahsoka, I, your master, Anakin Skywalker, have made this lightsaber in memory to you." He said in a low voice as he pulled the lightsaber out of a sleeve in his robe. He pulled it out and held it in front of his face and it glowed and reflected light brilliantly. The gasps of the mourners were not to be missed. "May the purity of this saber reflect the purity of your spirit in our halls. May its brilliance stand for your potential." The other Jedi who were around the pyre raised their sabers. "May your light ever shine brightly through the Force," Knight Skywalker managed to utter though his voice was low and deep and hardly audible. He walked up to the flaming funeral pyre and set the lit lightsaber at the head of it and it's penetrating glow shone brighter than the flames.

When the flames started to die down the funeral ended. Slowly the Jedi and other officials a like began to exit the hall. Anakin remained behind only to remove the saber from the stand in the pyre and move it to a stand on a shelf in the hall of remembrance. He screwed it in tightly there as this would be its final place of rest. In front of the saber was a flat plaque that had the padawan's name. Anakin traced his hands across the engraving of her name. "Be at peace Ahsoka," he whispered. "You were a great padawan and a better friend. I'll miss you Snips," he whispered a pained smirked coming over his face as he imagined her saying…'I'll miss you too Skyguy,".

"Anakin," a cordial voice called to him.

He looked up to see the wizened face of the Chancellor coming toward him. "Chancellor," he said giving a quick bow as the man stood before him, "Thank you for coming. It means so much."  
"Of course my boy, think nothing of it," the older man said a soft smile on his lips as his cold and slender fingers gripped Anakin by the shoulder. "How are you, son?"

"I'm alright," Anakin said with a shrug.

"That statement is better than what many would give if they were in your position," the Chancellor encouraged. "It was a lovely service. Befitting, she was a lovely girl." He went on. "And the lightsaber you made for her astonishing."

Anakin smiled, "Thank you, I've gotten use to making lightsabers…I've lost mine several times."

"It seems inevitable over time," Chancellor Palpatine remarked jovially. "Will you be returning back to battle or staying around Coruscant for a while?" the politician asked. He watched with keen interest as he saw the young Jedi knight's small smile fade into a scowl.

"The council has insisted that I take some time off." He looked down as he said it. "I'd rather be out in the field." He explained bitterly with his arm crossed.

"Of course you would," said Palpatine placing his hand on Anakin's arm, "and we need you out there, you are one of our finest generals.

"The council doesn't seem to…"

"But perhaps the council is right. After all I think its for the best, you should have time to rest." Anakin nodded. "Actually this falls at a rather opportune time," The chancellor said with peaked enthusiasm. Anakin arched his eyes brow to this more and more realizing how he was picking up Obi-wan's gestures. "I and a few delegates of my choosing are going on goodwill cruise to some of the small planets and systems in the Republic. Those systems that have felt neglected since they have been freed from Separatist rule. This cruise is just to show them that they have not been abandoned by the Republic."

"It sounds like a good idea Chancellor, the morale among civilians is low." Anakin agreed.

"Well with that said it would be wonderful to have you come a long my boy,"

"Come? I don't know if I could do that? This is a political mission it seems a Jedi's place isn't there." Anakin tried to decline.

The Chancellor shook his head. "It is a mission of peace and hope, surely a Jedi's place is there," he countered.

"Well," Anakin hesitated. A goodwill cruise on one of the Chancellor's luxury cruisers was much more his idea of a retreat than sitting in the temple reading over data pads and meditating for a month. Besides Obi=wan had said for him to visit with friends and do things that he found enjoyable.

"You are practically the poster child for the war effort," the Chancellor encouraged. "It would only be for a week at the most. I'm sure all the other delegates would feel much more safe and secure having a Jedi on board, after all it is still wartime." The Chancellor's reasoning was sound enough.

"I would be honored to go." Anakin smiled and bowed humbly accepting the invitation.

"Good, good," The chancellor smiled back as he patted Anakin's shoulders. "Well I must be getting back to the Senate building… there is still much to attend to." He explained.

"Won't you stay and eat something," Anakin offered pointing to the door that would lead to the dinning hall.

"No, no…I feel I've over stayed my welcome as is. The Jedi temple is no place for a politician such as myself," he slightly chuckled. "I just wanted to check on you. None the less I will see you in a few days," he gave one last smile turned on his heels and exited.

Anakin was watching the Chancellor leave when Master Kenobi came up behind him. "There you are," he heard his mentor say as he gave a sigh of relief. "Aren't you going to eat something?" Obi-wan inquired.

"Yeah," Anakin said slowly "I was…I was just talking with the Chancellor," Anakin announced.

"Really?" Obi-wan said suspiciously. "And what did he want?"

Nothing!" Anakin retorted in a tone that was snappier than he intended. He knew that Obi-wan, like many other Jedi were suspicious of the Chancellor, but that suspicion to him seemed unfounded, but now was not the time for such debates. "He was informing me of a goodwill cruise that he and a few of his most trusted colleagues were going on."

"A goodwill cruise to where?"

"To some of the small and forgotten systems that have gotten much attention sense the onset of the war. I think it's a good idea to help keep the Republic unified."

"is that the point of it?" Obi-wan said slightly giving a rueful laugh.

Anakin deemed Obi-wan's pessimism not worth responding to. "He invited me and I've decided to take him u on the offer."

"Have you?" Anakin nodded back. "Well if you think that's best…"

"Meaning you don't." Anakin eyed him.

"I didn't say that." Obi-wan began, "Not that you were looking for my approval to do so anyway," Master Kenobi reminded him playfully

"No I wasn't".

"I only wonder what purpose your presence will serve." Obi-wan mused as he scratched his beard.

"You're the one always saying how the first role of a Jedi is of that of peacekeeper… well this is a peaceful mission."

"If you feel it is best for you to go than by all means do so. At least it will give you sometime to relax," Master Ob-wan said and tried to give a smile. "I'll be leaving for Felucia tomorrow." He announced.

"Tomorrow? The council just informed you of this?"

"No," Obi-wan sighed.

"Then why am I just being informed?"

"Anakin what good would the information have been to you at an earlier time? It's not like you're accompanying me," Obi-wan reminded him.

"I know… it's just…"  
"Anakin please while you're on this respite take sometime to actually meditate… that is the actual purpose." Obi-wan chided his former apprentice.

"I'll try to work on that." He cocked a side smile. "Master when you go…take care of yourself."

"I intend to," Obi-wan laughed as he put his hand on Anakin's shoulder. AS the exited the hall of memories they saw Senator Amidala looking around the temple seemingly in a lot of confusion. She let out a sigh and smiled when she saw that they were coming toward her.

"I got a little tuned around," she explained.

"So it would seem," Obi-wan added kindly.

"Don't worry Senator, we won't leave you to wander aimlessly," Anakin smiled at her and winked.

"Please don't," she replied back.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thank you so much to all those who reviewed my other story "Please don't leave me" I received so much encouragement and feedback on it that it convinced me to write the second part! Please Don't Leave Me was my first fanfic and seeing the responses, favorites and story alerts always made me smile. Since you guys were so great to review I figured I'd return the favor and give you an up date. At first it was just going to be a quick one or 2 chapter epilogue, but then it kinda started taking on a life of its own. So I've turned it into a separate sequel story, entitle Journey on Good Faith. So look for it when you can and thanks so much for reading, reviewing and favoriting… God Bless**


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